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Barberville Terror Corps
Ludendorff Terror Corps 'is a mission in the mod. Objectives *Drive to the scrapyard *Lose the police, don't damage the trunk *Drive to Trey's house Script ''Lis walks up to the convenience store Neil works at and meets Todd and Kane walking out with soda cups '''Todd: '''Hey Lis, you look like shit. '''Lis: '''Right, thanks. '''Todd: '''What happened? '''Lis: '''Larry and his cunt of a friend stole my car and beat my ass. '''Todd: '''That fucking sucks. '''Kane: ''*Same time as Todd* No fucking way. '''Lis: '''Yeah fucking way. '''Todd: '''Dude, that fucking sucks! '''Kane: '''Yeah, you think Trey might know about it? '''Todd: '''I don't know how he'd know, though- '''Kane: '''Ahh, trust me, he does. '''Lis: '''How? ''Kane sighs in frustration, pulls out his phone, and calls Trey, putting him on speakerphone Trey: 'Hello? '''Kane: '''Trey, you wouldn't happen to know anything about where my bike is, would you? '''Trey: '''Uh...lemme check...the strip mall, the one where Neil works? ''Lis & Todd look at eachother in surprise as Kane continues talking '''Kane: '''Right you are. Anyway, Lis got her car jumped by them Nazis, so you gotta help us find it? '''Trey: '''A'ight, lemme see...uh...does she still have the tacky riceburner? '''Lis: '''Fuck you. '''Kane: ''*Same time as Lis* Yeah. '''Trey: '''Let's see...37 north...uh...looks like that scrapyard outside of town. '''Kane: '''Those motherfuckers! ''Kane hangs up on Trey Kane: 'So there's your fucking answer Lis, they got it stuck up in a scrapyard, and we gotta save it! '''Lis: '''A'ight, I know the place. ''They all get up and walk over to Todd's car, commenting as they walk 'Lis: '''Why'd Trey put trackers on all our cars, though? '''Kane: '''What do you expect from a mentally unstable conspiracy nutter? ''The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to drive to Lew's Towing with Todd & Kane. During the drive, a conversation erupts 'Todd: '''Right, so we got the crew, we're gonna get the whip, now we need a name for ourselves, yeah? '''Kane: '''Makes sense, seeing as the faggots in Merrick have a fancy name for themselves. '''Lis: '''Merrick? It's just a shitty town with nothing to their name than a canal and old train station. '''Todd: '''Uncle Neil took me there once to look at the trains- '''Lis: '''But we ain't got no name yet. '''Kane: '''Alright, so we'll get a name for ourselves! How about..."Gabberheads"? '''Todd: '''Na, na, how about "3 Steps Ahead"? Get it? 'Cause there's three of us- '''Lis: '''What about Trey? '''Kane: '''Yeah Todd, be considerate for fucking once. "Rotterdam Terror Corps"? '''Todd: '''That doesn't make sense, since we're not in Rotterdam. '''Lis: '''We're in Barberville, though. '''Kane: '"Barberville Terror Corps" then? 'Todd: '''Fine by me. How 'bout you, Lis? '''Lis: '''Fine by me. Now we're gonna be kicking ass! ''Lis, Todd, & Kane all cheer The player arrives at the scrapyard. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs Cunt is arguing with the scrapyard owner over Lis' ''car as Todd, Kane, and Lis walk up in the background'' 'Cunt: '''What do you mean you can't buy this car off me? '''Owner: '''Because this isn't a front for stolen cars and you don't have the proper paperwork. '''Cunt: '''Of course I do, it's in the trunk, which you'll see when I give you the keys when you buy it- '''Kane: '''Hey, cunt! ''Cunt & the scrapyard owner turn to look at Lis, Kane, & Todd 'Lis: '''What're you doing with my car, you cunt? '''Cunt: '''I'm...this ain't how it looks- '''Kane: '''Shut the fuck up, you cunt! ''Kane runs up to Cunt, grabs his neck, and slams Cunt's head on the roof of Lis' car multiple times to knock him out as Todd opens up the trunk and Lis enters the driver's seat. Lis starts the car as Todd & Kane place Cunt's body in the trunk as the scrapyard owner yells out at them 'Owner: '''You bunch of lunatics! I'm calling the Sheriff! ''The owner runs into his office as Todd & Kane enter Lis' car as the engine starts The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to lose a two-star wanted level. While losing the wanted level, a conversation erupts 'Kane: '''Drive motherfucker, he's calling the pigs! '''Lis: '''Should be easy, now that I've got my car back. '''Todd: '''Shit, shit, fucking cops, and we got the cunt in the trunk. '''Kane: '"Cunt in the trunk", sounds like one of those indie rock bands, yeah? 'Todd: '''Kinda. More like an indie rock band's song though- '''Kane: '''Album? '''Todd: '''Yeah, probably an album. "Now presenting generic hipster indie rock band's new album - Cunt In The Trunk"! '''Kane: '''I wouldn't buy it. '''Todd: '''Me neither- '''Lis: '''Can you guys ever so kindly just shut up for a few minutes while I try to lose these fucking pigs!? '''Todd: '''Oh...alright- '''Kane: '''Damn Lis, you don't got to be so mad. ''The player loses the wanted level. The player is then instructed to drive to Trey's house. During the drive, a conversation erupts 'Todd: '''Alright, looks like you lost them. '''Lis: '''A'ight, I'll swing the body by Trey's place. '''Todd: '''Why? '''Lis: '''We gotta keep this cunt somewhere, yeah? We can't keep him at my place because of my folks, can't keep him at Todd's because of his uncle. Kane, you live in a trailer- '''Kane: '''So we're keeping him at Trey's? '''Lis: '''Well...he's got a basement. '''Kane: '''Good point. '''Todd: '''So do I- '''Kane: '''But your basement's got your uncle's pool table and minibar in it, remember? Goddamn, you're stupid ''The player arrives at Trey's house. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs Trey is practicing ninja kicks in his backyard as Todd, Kane, and Lis enter. Kane is carrying Cunt's body over his shoulder 'Lis: '''Yo, amigo. ''Trey quickly turns to notice the trio '''Trey: '''Holy shit, you guys scared me. '''Lis: '''Shame. Anyway, we got the cunt who stole the car right here, and we gotta keep him somewhere 'till he wakes up. '''Trey: '''Okay...so what's the plan? '''Kane: '''We keep him in your basement till he wakes up and then we feed him his own testicles. '''Trey: '''Ah...I don't think so- '''Kane: '''What? '''Trey: '''Yeah, I mean, I got- '''Kane: '''Why the fuck not!? '''Trey: '''I was telling you, I got some guy coming by to look at the- '''Kane: ''*Interrupting Trey* Goddamnit Trey, you're letting us keep this cunt here or else I swear to christ, I'll break into your house again and beat off into all your food! '''Trey: '*Shocked* ''That was you? ''Trey looks at Kane and the others for a few seconds before agreeing 'Trey: '''Alright, fine. But only if you tell me how you got past my traps. '''Kane: '''What traps? '''Trey: '''Goddamnit, not again. ''*Sighs* ''Fine, come with me. ''Trey leads Kane & Todd into his house. Before Todd enters the house, he turns to Lis, who is still standing outside 'Todd: '''You're not coming? '''Lis: '''Na...not right now, at least. '''Todd: '''Okay...well...later on, amigo. ''Todd enters the house as Lis walks out of Trey's backyard Mission Passed